I have blogged before about the price of equipment once it is given a disability label. Now I have found another layer - the sex gadget. It seems to work as so:

Product without a disability label = £X
Same product 'for disabled people' = £X + 50% at times.
Same product for sexual intimacy £X + less than the above!

Here is an interesting example:

A Shower Locking Foot Rest with suction cup. It is basically a foot print sized contoured foot rest that can be stuck on a shower wall. So if you need to rest your feet on a ledge to shave, wash or do whatever it becomes easier with this little gadget (assuming you don't lean too heavy, slip and kill yourself in the shower that is).

So onto the price:

Amazon appears to sell it as a 'Safe-er-Grip' with a slight disability angle on the marketing for £12.99.

bekinky.co.uk are selling it at £9.18 as an aid to having sex in the shower (and packed as such) Other sex shops sell it up to £13.45 according to Shopwiki.

So the moral of the tale is - try a sex shop or two for a bargain on useful disability gadgets and watch your PAs face as they open it for you!

Tags:disability | equipment | shower | gadgets | sexual intimacy

This follows on from my previous blog and contains my experience of a Twitter Party

Now - this is where Twitter comes into its own when you add a hashtag ( # followed by a word e.g. #equality) to the end of your message. If you go on Twitter, you can search for everyone in the world who has added the same hashtag to the end of their message and it will be displayed in a time-line. Hence people can see what others are saying on the same topic - and join the conversation.

The most used hashtag for my account is #mhlparty (over 430 Tweets) and it's my first experience at a Twitter Party I am going to share with you today - from a disabled person's perspective.

Accessible Parties.

I like the idea of parties - being around friends, having a laugh, good music and a bit of dancing. On the other hand I feel very uncomfortable in environments like these. For starters, crowded areas where everyone is standing up or dancing/falling over drunk is not my idea of fun. Perhaps because I can't stand up (use a wheelchair) and need some space to move, perhaps because people always used to fall over me as they wobbled to and from the bar. Maybe it was the drunken games of 'who dares chat the cripple up' or the fact that I could commit suicide on less than 1 Unit of Alcohol. Add to this the noise and the fact that my voice is sometimes little more than a whisper does not a conversation make.

All in all, I'm just not cut out to do the Party thing - even though the idea of loud music and waving a glow stick around all night has huge appeal!

Then I started tweeting whilst watching Most Haunted on the television, having a love of all things ghost like since the Ghostbusters first came out in my childhood. Prior to University I was so interested in the Paranormal because of personal experiences that I was originally going to do a Parapsychology degree. I guess you would say I'm a skeptic believer i.e. I believe in paranormal activity but don't believe every sound or bump in a spooky place is spirit activity. So, I take things like Most Haunted with a huge pinch of salt and a good dose of entertainment. Whether you believe or not, Most Haunted as a series has a huge fan base and I saw that some people who watched the show were Tweeting about a Most Haunted Live Party (mhlparty). I had to find out more - so I did and although the show brought us together we all agreed that it was our party and interactions with each other that made the night a fantastic one.

Left: My attempt at psychic art. This picture tweet was my prediction that paranormal findings related to WWII planes might feature (as they were at an old RAF base). Just as I thought - my prediction came true - must indeed be psychic!!

What is a Twitter Party?

Well for mhlparty, it was the idea of the lovely @JuicyJulesRocks and anyone who watches the show can join in. Each Tweet carries the hashtag so we can focus on just party tweets and we have a core group of about 12-20 people with the party theme being based on the show. We all seem to hold the same viewpoint - pretty darnn skeptical about the show but still loving it (and occasionally something does happen which makes us all go a bit quiet and reach for a pillow to hide behind!).

A party is held for every Live event - that's 3 hours of tweeting for 3-7 nights and can best be described as virtual role play. For example, someone will run a bar and make sure we are all well topped up if not getting a bit tipsy by the end of the night and others will let people know what music is playing (our favourite of course being on replay is usually Ghost Busters or for devillish investigations Road to Hell has been known to pop up on the old Jukebox). Not forgetting the party nibbles, lots of chocolate and I tend to supply glowsticks! We have a mhlparty website hoted by the lovely @MrRant and party games include competitions such as 'best costume' and the ever popular 'guess how many times they will swear on live TV'. In fact, our party has had a few mentions on air and we have had an official drop in who monitors the swearing from the broadcasting perspective and helps with the official 'count'.

If you have ever listened to Audio Description of a party scene on a TV programme - Tweets read a bit like that! Our own, virtual, interactive party world. Yes, people probably think we are all quite mad but essentially, we have a laugh and a chat, we've made some good friends and have a great night.

The best sort of party for me?

Yes, most definitely.

• To start with, I didn't have to phone up and check for wheelchair access or
• figure out inaccessible transport/parking.
• I didn't have to explain to anyone why I can't drink alcohol.
• I didn't need to feel 100% well to join in.
• I get a giggle because of my crazy party costume and not in a hurtful way because I've tried to cram my funny shaped body into party clothes.
• I have no fear of bullying or harrassement - or of being safe from some of the terrible disability hate crime of today.
• In all reality I am comfy and warm in my living room and not worrying about hot, claustrophobic environments.
• I can eat and drink what I want at a virtual party - unlike real life.
• I don't have to worry about trying to use a toilet that is inaccessible and wet underfoot with alcohol, vomit and urine - especially when I can only transfer in bare feet.
• I don't need to worry about getting home safely and
• best of all, I can communicate with people rather than words remaining as frustrated thoughts when I haven't the strength to get them out. Without communication, life can be lonely and it's easy for people to pre-judge me as anti-social.

Of course wheelchair users and people with all sorts of impairments go clubbing and enjoy the night life - but my choice is to stay in and party in an alternative way.

A sign of equality?

Nobody knows I have an impairment in most virtual parties - it's not relevant. I don't hide my impairment from anyone but I don't make a point of telling everyone I meet that I use a wheelchair unless it is relevant to the message or situation. I found it interesting that I could Tweet about every day life for months before people started asking if I used a wheelchair because otherwise a tweet didn't make sense! It's not everyday that someone can say they rolled down a hill when out for a walk. It's perhaps testimony to just how far equality has gone. I'm loving my virtual world - so drop in for a chat or a cup of tea anytime you wish :-)

* Dedicated to all the wonderful mhlparty goers.

Tags:disabled | access | socialising | twitter | Mhlparty | disablism | social networking | blogging against disablism day